THE GREAT WALL, pt 3 – THE GHOST THEORY
The thought dawns on me: perhaps I am conceiving of the wall/me relationship incorrectly. Perhaps, rather than the Wall allowing me to pass through it, I need to move the Wall through ME. To displace the particles of my consciousness for long enough so that I become immaterial, allowing me to move through it like a ghost.
Good in theory – but how to achieve this kind of formlessness? And anyway, it isn’t real formlessness I’m talking about, only the idea of formlessness, since all I’m trying to move through the Wall is my consciousness, which has no form in the first place. In fact, who is the “I” that I’m trying to move through the Wall? Does the Wall exist outside of “myself”? How can it? The Wall is IN me, therefore part of me. So does the problem lie simply in a flawed paradigm in which I have mistakenly set up a Me/Wall dichotomy?
That’s it! In order to move THROUGH the wall I must BECOME the Wall. Since the Wall and I are one in the first place, I must simply reverse the illusion of separateness, upon which I will be able to move through the Wall because the Wall and I will be one.
Gotcha Wall! You are ME. I am YOU. Now let me through!
But the Wall seems unimpressed by my clever syllogism. In fact, as if to remind me of its superiority, the Wall becomes pain-manifest and sends dull shots of petulant fire up through my neck and into the base of my skull.
I retreat. This Wall is impervious to my run-of-the-mill philosophical proofs. It may be part of me, but I am not its’ master. I need a subtler tool. Or a more outlandish one.
